you were freaking scary at first considering if i was on my hands and knees, you’d be bigger than me
but now you are so adorable because you do tricks and actually sit when i tell you to and shake my hand when i want to.
too bad i secretly want to kick you out of the house because i have developed fucking allergies to animal dander due to my recent work with rats so nose is now stuffed to the max within 15 minutes of being inside the house.
i’m sorry :(
My preferred coping mechanism when attempting to come to terms with romance and the possibility of love is to over romanticise every inch of the love making process. Elation is the main constituent of this imagined world where nothing matters except the exact moment when flesh meets flesh. Essentially, upon romantic rendezvous when love is decided, he will take off my clothes and I will take off his and we will hold each other for, more or less, the rest of our lives.
Then, somehow and always, there is a second level of consciousness that sets in and reminds me, rudely, of the big house we’ll work tirelessly to buy. It reminds me of the way that we’ll get bored of growing old together and maybe you’ll look at other women with a longing for something more exciting. And soon the big, empty rooms where we had planned to store our love will end up being filled with meaningless furniture. And all we will be left to do is wordlessly excuse each other for not loving each other as much as we had planned to.
flight tomorrow at 8:30am.
brother won’t drive me so i have a hitch a ride with dad at 6am, meaning i’ll be there 2 hours early for an inside-US flight. fuckers, what am i going to dooooo. :(
meanwhile, completely forgot to print out itinerary.
must write info on post-it and hope it works out. haha.
my brother better let me go. maybe i can even get a overnight stay okay from him considering i’ve got a tour guide and place to crash for a night (sans blankets though) but still!
excited for adventures!
and got my new glasses today and i looove that they don’t slide down my asian nose.
for singlehood (maybe).
for a day in chicago.
to max out my $600 credit limit on my card.
to have fun.
to get my body fit.
to spend some quality time away from my family, with my brother’s family.
and when i come back, some good sushi awaits, as well as a new quarter without introductory classes.
I am, at worst, in the corner while the world passes me by.
“What other way is there to be?” —